Temazepam

Since my 10-day hospitalization for mania, which ended in April, my psychiatrist has made adjustments to my combination of medications. I am now taking 1350 mg. lithium carbonate ER at night, 5 mg. of Saphris in the morning and 5 mg. of Saphris at night, 200 mg. of Lamictal in the morning, and 15 to 30 mg. of temazepam at bedtime, as needed, for sleep.

I just took my first dose of temazepam for sleep last night and I feel good today. I slept well, I did not have a medication hangover when I woke up, and I have been calm and productive all day. I'm thankful that my psychiatrist prescribed it, and I'm hoping that this will complete the perfect combination of medications for me. If it works, it will be the combination I have been hoping for for the past 23 years - one that lets me feel and act like my best self.

My former psychiatrist switched me from temazepam to Ambien about 7 years ago because, he said, Ambien was less likely to be habit forming. That didn't make sense to me, as I hadn't formed a habit, but he insisted that I needed to make the change, so I did, and I haven't experienced as much stability since then as I did before he made the switch.

I told my current psychiatrist what happened when I was switched from temazepam to Ambien, and she wrote a prescription for temazepam right away. Anyone who has bipolar disorder knows how important sleep is to managing the health condition. Some doctors avoid prescribing sleep medications, because they may be habit forming, and instead use other medications, like the antipsychotic Seroquel, for example. I tried to use Seroquel for sleep, but I felt very much impaired and overly sedated during the day. I made many more mistakes than usual, and always felt like I was ready for a nap. I'm happy that my current psychiatrist sees me as a unique individual and prescribes the medications that work best for me.

Many mental health bloggers shy away from writing about the medications that they take, but I don't. I've always been told, and I've learned through life experience, that medication is necessary for managing bipolar disorder, especially Bipolar Disorder I, the most severe form, and the one that I happen to have. Since I'm sharing everything else I do to maintain balance, and since medication is so important for that, I'm describing the medication that I take, and how my psychiatrist decides to prescribe it. She only likes to change one medication at a time, so she can evaluate how each one works in combination with my other medications. This can be a laborious process, but I feel that it is helping me to experience more wellness.

Every person who takes medication is a different person with a different lifestyle. There is no one size fits all in psychiatry - at least there shouldn't be. I'm not suggesting my exact cocktail of medications to anyone else, I'm just writing that it is what's currently working for me. Reading stories of recovery, including stories of people finding medications that work, has always given me hope. More than anything else, in writing this blog, I want to encourage anyone with a mental illness, as well as their friends and relatives, to hang on to hope.

Soccer, Swimming, Saphris, and Summer!

Things are looking up for me since my hospitalization last month. I've been back to work for almost a month, and I'm enjoying my days both at work and outside of work. I started playing soccer again, after a ten year hiatus, and I'm delighting in it. I look forward to the once-a-week game all week, and it inspires me to exercise every day.

Taking less lithium, as my psychiatrist has directed me to do, makes it much easier to play soccer, and also to stay hydrated. I started taking Seroquel in the hospital to stop my mania. I've taken it before, and it caused a lot of weight gain. However, this time, I snacked on low calorie foods whenever I had the munchies and ended up losing 7 pounds also probably, in part, to playing soccer again.

Last week, when I went to see my psychiatrist, she suggested that I replace Seroquel with Saphris. The last time I tried Saphris, I was depressed, and I felt that it made my depression worse. However, I wasn't taking Lamictal, at the time, which I am now. So, I started Saphris about a week ago, and I feel great. Last night, I played better soccer than I've played so far this season, and I felt more coordinated. Also, I'm more alert and have not needed as much sleep as I did when I took Seroquel. I'm back to sleeping 7 or 8 hours instead of my usual 10 hours when I was taking Seroquel. I've heard that Saphris is a "wonder drug" for some people, and I'm hoping that will be the case for me.

Every year, I look forward to the beginning of swimming season, and this year was no different. I had a great time swimming at my condo pool for the first time this year. My conditioning for soccer consists of walking in hilly places, swimming, and taking a spinning class. I'm still going to the YMCA for swimming workouts, but my condo pool is so nice for a peaceful dip after a long, hot day, and sometimes, if I'm inspired, I swim some extra laps. This happens more often as the water warms up. I absolutely love to swim in a warm pool with the sun shining down on me!

It's definitely summer in Kentucky. The temperatures have already reached the mid nineties. I don't have any big plans for the season. It's hard to save money for a vacation, as I'm collecting Social Security Disability, and only allowed to work part-time. So, I'm working on being patient and appreciating the simple things in life, such as spending time with friends and family, and enjoying the sunny weather and lazier days.

Luckily, in my town, there are lots of  inexpensive things to do--art festivals, neighborhood fairs, free and cheap musical performances, etc. I have a lot to be thankful and grateful for, and I'm happy that I'm getting back on track. Someday, I hope that I'll be stable enough to start working full-time again. But, for now, I'm going to take advantage of the extra time that I have each day, and work on strengthening myself, both mentally and physically.

Everything's Okay!

 
At this moment in time, I feel like I've covered all of the really serious aspects of dealing with bipolar disorder in this blog. If something else comes up, I'll be sure to address it, but for now, I'm happy to announce that everything is going well for me. This is the first year that I spent time gearing up to prevent my not unusual fall/winter depression. I'm definitely going to continue trying to prevent seasonal mood changes, but this year, my preparations seem to have been overdone. This winter has been unusually mild, making it easier for me to get out and be active. I haven't felt any hesitation about going to the grocery store, running to the bank, or completing any of the other errands required to keep my life running smoothly. I've enjoyed all of the winter holidays so far, and am now looking forward to Valentine's Day.

Lately I've been walking with a few different friends. I've enjoyed the exercise as well as their company. We usually walk for an hour or two, so we have lots of time to talk. It's very therapeutic, and a great way to get exercise and relax in our hectic, modern world. In the past, it's been harder for me to find walking partners. I'm really glad that more of my friends are interested in walking now...maybe it's because we're getting older (?).

For the past few months, I've been focusing on preparing healthier meals and eating a more wholesome diet in general. I've long been frustrated by thinking of all of the chemicals I have to ingest, in the form of bipolar medications, that seem to throw my chemistry out of balance with the result being unpleasant side effects. While I have always understood the value of eating whole, unprocessed foods, I'm trying to become more vigilant about eating a cleaner diet with fewer added chemicals, thus avoiding the negative health effects of eating too much processed food, because I'm already tired enough of dealing with the side effects from medication. I believe that our bodies can only handle so many foreign chemicals! 

I can also report that I've been sleeping well and waking up easily. I've been enjoying spending time at home, at work, out in the community, and with my friends. In the fall, I joined two interesting community organizations. One is called Forge, which is a "community for innovators". So far the meetings have been very interesting. I met one entrepreneur who was looking to hire someone, and I told a friend with the right qualifications about the position, and she got the job! She told me that she'll take me out for dinner when she gets her first paycheck. The other organization I've been meeting with is called Let Them Tweet Cake , a group for women who are interested in social media--right up my alley. I'm really glad that I found these organizations, because both of them seem to be a really good fit for me.

So things are humming right along. I know I'll feel even better come spring and summer, but I'll also have to be watching myself and making sure I don't get too carried away. It's strange to be so dramatically affected by things both large and small. I guess that's why I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I'm happy that I understand my mood conditions, as well as myself, better than I used to. Time and experience have helped me so much in my quest to live a fulfilling life.